Sick Week

Took some high schoolers to camp last weekend and I seem to have fallen ill - It’s got me talking to everyone about how I take my health for granted. I have no reason to think I have anything other than an average immune system, but I don’t feel like I get sick very often, so whenever a cold or Covid (yikes) comes my way, I feel like those old victorian paintings of sick people, sprawled out over the bed with family and friends around, ready with last words. In reality I’m being dramatic, but while it is just a cough, and forgive me if it feels like I’m going high school english teacher “what’s the meaning of the blue curtains in line 1 paragraph 1?” mode, sickness seems to heighten lesson learning to me, so here’s some reminders from this week.

I’ve been reminded of my humanity and frailty. Health, like many other things in life (relationships, jobs, financial security, life itself) is such a gift and can be gone in an instant. When those things take a hit, it reminds us that what we have is not our own - the Lord truly gives and takes away. Which is a nice platitude for your grandma's couch pillow, but it really takes on a different meaning when He takes away something you cherish, sometimes even good things. It seems God’s most effective method of revealing our idols is by simply removing them - then, standing in the imprint left by the golden calf, we finally look upward.

I’ve been reminded of struggle. If I’m honest, I have never known what it is to struggle. I’ve been through some stuff, for sure; I’ve had fearful (albeit sometimes innocently naive) moments like the time I offered to get a job at the age of 12 one night as I watched my parents tearfully attempt to grapple with the 2008 financial crisis - but I’ve never felt the prolonged drag of life’s heavy chains. One of the only windows I’ve really had into the mud is the times in my life when breathing hurts and the devil takes us residence in my sinuses. It doesn't really compare to massive struggle, but it’s one of the reasons I sympathize with the chronically ill, for example - because sickness just colors your life differently, and renders joy elusive.

I’ve been reminded that real faith isn’t empty phrases. I get angry when I’m sick, not sure if i’m just upset with myself for letting it happen, maybe I dapped someone up and didn’t wash my hands before eating the tacos at camp this weekend, but a lot of times my anger is directed at God for some reason? Like he owes me health? Anyway - sickness begs the broader question of where is your faith when life doesn’t feel like green pastures and still waters?

Anyway, it’s 4pm and I’m going to bed haha. Have a good weekend.

In love,

Josh